i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
