officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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