The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
