love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
