Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
