I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
