forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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