I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So much rum. So many feels.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
