I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
