dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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