i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Panties = found
Randomize
