i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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