if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
