and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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