his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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