after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Damn victory sex feels great
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
