I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
