You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
