I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
