Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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