ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
