the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
