Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
