Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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