Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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