i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
