I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
