I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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