You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
