Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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