Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
