do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
