Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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