So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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