i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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