I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
