a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
