So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
