How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cannot find my penis.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
