85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
