The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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