Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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