he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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