dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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