No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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