I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
