We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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