tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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