But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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