It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
